On Soul Mates
Interesting take, from Gilbert book:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go…[his] purpose was to shake you up…tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it.”
So…who’s mine? FB? Sophie? Even Birthday Boy could be, because his was, in many ways, a reflection of me* (which is why he annoyed me so much), and made me realize “Oh. This is what I put FB through? No wonder he left.”
*I’m talking about his OCD/control issues, eating and drinking habits, over-sensitivity and tendencies toward the dramatic. Plus, he wanted to call Jamie “Fred.” Did I ever tell you that?
The passage goes on to state what my very good, very wise friends have been telling me for three years (though thankfully they no longer need to remind me every day):
“If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot—a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in—God will rush in—and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using [him] to block that door. Let it go.”
Sophie has filled me with more love than I could have ever dreamed, though she is still only a mortal after all. I need to keep working on myself, and can’t wait around for someone else to do it.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
On Soul Mates